Matronics Email Lists :: View topic

Matronics Email Lists
Web Forum Interface to the Matronics Email Lists

Get Email Distribution Too! FAQ Search Memberlist Usergroups Register

Profile Log in to check your private messages Log in

Spouse afraid to fly

Matronics Email Lists Forum Index -> RV-List

View previous topic :: View next topic

Author Message

rscott(at)cascadeaccess.c
Guest

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 3:49 pm Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

I was showing a newbie my project when he mentioned that his wife didn't 

like to fly, didn't want him flying and was totally against him building a 

plane, but he was going to do it anyway.



There used to be an RV around the area named "Divorce One" and I see a 

"Divorce Two" in the cards if he can't get his wife to change her views.



Some of you guys must have had this problem--how did you deal with it?



Did you get her to accept your flying & still have peace in the family?  If 

so, how did you do it?



Richard Scott

RV-9A

Wings

flyrv6(at)bryantechnology
Guest

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 4:06 pm Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

I didn't have this problem, but I truly believe fear of flying is all about

a lack of knowledge regarding flying.  If she would be open to learning from

someone else, openly as to why airplanes fly, maybe she would warm up to

some pitch hitter flying courses.  I am sure it isn't that easy, but gotta

start somewhere.

Tim 

 

----

bootless(at)earthlink.net
Guest

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 4:19 pm Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

>>Divorce Two<<



That's not good. I don't have so much an answer as a couple of 

questions. As a former non-flying wife (I'm a flying non-wife now, but 

that's a different story <g>), my resistance was from fear of what I 

didn't know about flying (which was a lot). I grew up in an airline 

family, but a Cherokee was a lot different, to me, than a DC-10. Before 

I made the decision to learn to fly, I watched AOPA's Pinch Hitter tape 

quite a few times.



Or, it could be fear of economic ruin due to his interest in flying, or 

perhaps, fear of her not being #1 in his eyes. She may not know that her 

husband can love flying and her at the same time.



Once I polled a few friends (a female thing) and figured out that if all 

these other people could do it, I could too (and didn't need to know 

calculus to fly), the belief I had changed from "I can't" to "I can."



She may be terrified of losing him in an accident, particularly in a 

(forgive me) "homemade" plane. Some people are unable to put words to 

these fears because they're further afraid of not seeming to be the 

person they want to present to their spouse.



Or, it could be symptomatic of other, more general, problems in their 

relationship. The idea of respecting and supporting your spouse's 

interests, even if you don't share them, is often lost on the 

non-interested spouse. If it wasn't flying, it would be some other 

interest that she didn't share. It takes a particular brand of emotional 

generosity to be able to do that, and some people haven't gotten there yet.



So, there are a few questions from my female point of view... hope it 

helps or points him in the right direction.



best, Cory



Richard Scott wrote:



 	  Quote: 	
		  



I was showing a newbie my project when he mentioned that his wife didn't 

like to fly, didn't want him flying and was totally against him building a 

plane, but he was going to do it anyway.



There used to be an RV around the area named "Divorce One" and I see a 

"Divorce Two" in the cards if he can't get his wife to change her views.



Some of you guys must have had this problem--how did you deal with it?



Did you get her to accept your flying & still have peace in the family?  If 

so, how did you do it?



Richard Scott

RV-9A

Wings

altoq(at)cebridge.net
Guest

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 4:28 pm Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

Richard,



   Most of us who are afraid to fly are actually just afraid to be a 

passenger. Once they have learned to fly and experience being in control, 

fear is put aside. Along with learning to fly comes the knowledge of when to 

be afraid and the fact that it is not a full time requirement. Most  of 

those who have learned to fly are still afraid when they are passengers or 

otherwise not in control.

   Get her some flying lessons. It might take some talking to get her to do 

it but, then again after a while, it might take a heavy duty screw driver to 

pry her fingers off the stick, so you can have a turn.



John D.



DO NOT ARCHIVE



---

rv8a2001(at)yahoo.com
Guest

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:00 pm Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

The worst case senario is, "dont confuse her with the facts, her minds is already made up!"



"John D. Heath" <altoq(at)cebridge.net> wrote:  



Richard,



Most of us who are afraid to fly are actually just afraid to be a 

passenger. Once they have learned to fly and experience being in control, 

fear is put aside. Along with learning to fly comes the knowledge of when to 

be afraid and the fact that it is not a full time requirement. Most of 

those who have learned to fly are still afraid when they are passengers or 

otherwise not in control.

Get her some flying lessons. It might take some talking to get her to do 

it but, then again after a while, it might take a heavy duty screw driver to 

pry her fingers off the stick, so you can have a turn.



John D.



DO NOT ARCHIVE



---

flyboy.bob(at)gmail.com
Guest

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:45 pm Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

If he can get her to take some flying lessons . . . that will usually solve

the problem!





On 3/18/06, Richard Scott <rscott(at)cascadeaccess.com> wrote:

 	  Quote: 	
		  

 



 I was showing a newbie my project when he mentioned that his wife didn't

 like to fly, didn't want him flying and was totally against him building a

 plane, but he was going to do it anyway.



 There used to be an RV around the area named "Divorce One" and I see a

 "Divorce Two" in the cards if he can't get his wife to change her views.



 Some of you guys must have had this problem--how did you deal with it?



 Did you get her to accept your flying & still have peace in the

 family?  If

 so, how did you do it?



 Richard Scott

 RV-9A

 Wings

ronlee(at)pcisys.net
Guest

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:07 pm Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

At least you have a spouse.



Ron



Do not archive

ebundy(at)speedyquick.net
Guest

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 9:55 pm Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

I started flying 20 years ago, just months after getting married.  My wife

was reluctant at best, but was proud of my accomplishment in getting a

private license and acquiesced to fly with me occasionally.  She got a

little enjoyment out of it, but her fear and apprehension were always in the

background.



Just for the heck of it, I suggested she attend a 99's flying companion

seminar.  Best thing she could have done, and I recommend it highly.  She

felt MUCH more at ease in the airplane now that she had an idea of

everything that was going on.  It also whet her appetite to learn more about

it.



When it came time to build an RV (10 years ago) she wasn't against it, but

wasn't thrilled either.  However, when we talked about the ability to get

away on 2-3 day vacations that were impossible by car (and impractical by

rental Cessna) or to see her family more often (16hrs by car, or 3.5hrs by

RV) she became a believer.  We've been flying it for 8 years and the only

thing we fight about now is who's doing the flying.



My advise, get her to a 99 class, go slow, and show her the end result

(destinations that she will enjoy) and she might just end up enjoying the

process as well.



Ed Bundy

 	  Quote: 	
		   Did you get her to accept your flying & still have peace in the

 family?  If

 so, how did you do it?


	


--

gerf(at)gerf.com
Guest

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 10:58 pm Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

The following ASSUMES no prior agreement exists regarding the 

bringing up/paying for of children now living ...



Decision: ... spouse -or- build plane ?



BUILD PLANE !!



(Yeah, I admit it, I just had a mysterious fight with the 

spouse that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me.   But 

its probably about my building the plane.)



g



do NOT archive



 	  Quote: 	
		   

 

 

 I was showing a newbie my project when he mentioned that his 

 wife didn't 

 like to fly, didn't want him flying and was totally against him 

 building a 

 plane, but he was going to do it anyway.

 

 There used to be an RV around the area named "Divorce One" and I see a 

 "Divorce Two" in the cards if he can't get his wife to change her views.

 

 Some of you guys must have had this problem--how did you deal with it?

 

 Did you get her to accept your flying & still have peace in the 

 family?  If 

 so, how did you do it?

 

 Richard Scott

 RV-9A

 Wings

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

  

  

 

 

 

 


	


-- 

__g__



========================================================== 

Gerry Filby                                  gerf(at)gerf.com

                   Tel: 415 203 9177

rv8ch

Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Posts: 250
Location: Switzerland

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 12:03 am Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

Cory Emberson wrote:



 	  Quote: 	
		   ... my resistance was from fear of what I 

 didn't know about flying (which was a lot). I grew up in an airline 

 family, but a Cherokee was a lot different, to me, than a DC-10. ...


	


This is *exactly* what my wife says!  She has no problem getting

on an airliner, but really does not want to fly in a "small"

airplane.  She's fine in helicopters, because she feels that

the helicopter could land anywhere in case of trouble.



I think it's a control thing.  My wife likes to run things,

but says she does not have the patience to learn all the

things it takes to become a pilot, nor do all the preparation

necessary to fly.  She watches me prep for flights here on

the kitchen table, and perhaps I'm making the process look

a bit too complex.



Thankfully, even though she does not care to participate,

she's happy I'm doing something I enjoy.  Same with the building.

Live and let live!



-- 

Mickey Coggins

http://www.rv8.ch/

#82007 finishing

do not archive

_________________
Mickey Coggins
http://www.rv8.ch/

Hopperdhh(at)aol.com
Guest

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 6:52 am Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

I learned to fly after 12 years of marriage back in 1997.  My wife has  

always supported me in about anything I have ever done -- sometimes  reluctantly!  

When I was watching the King videos about navigating, I  said, "Come here and 

watch this, I want you to be able to help me  navigate."  She said, "Navigate? 

 I'm going to be hanging on for dear  life!"

 

For the first few flights in our C-150 I did look over and see some white  

knuckles.  What a sport!  She is my best flying buddy now.  For  probably the 

first 2 years whenever someone would ask her if she liked flying  she would 

reply, "It's getting better."

 

When we were building the RV she was worried about going so fast.  I  told 

her that she wouldn't even know it, we'd just get there sooner.  She  seems to 

always question me!

 

Well, by now she doesn't hesitate to suggest that we fly up to Chicago to  

see her grandson, or if I start acting bored, that we go for a ride in the  RV.

 

All I can say is be patient.  She may come around.

 

do not archive

 

Regards,

 

Dan Hopper

RV-7A Flying -- still 144 hours (runway has been  soggy!)

pcowper(at)webtv.net (Pet
Guest

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 10:17 am Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

Funny this thread should come up.



I was just on the phone yesterday with a college friend's wife in her

mid-50's who has refused to fly her entire life.  She grew up in a

isolated coastal town of Eureka, California and has lived her entire

life there.  Never had any reason to travel by plane so her fear matured

over the years.



Fast forward to this past January when cherished only child finishes

college and married a guy from Mississippi two months ago that she met

through the internet.  Suitor's family owns a multi-generation family

business of which he is becoming a part . . . never to leave

Mississippi.



My friend's wife cannot maintain her close relationship with her only

child and hopefully upcoming grandchildren without flying back and forth

from California to Mississippi.



She bit the bullet and flew back for the wedding in January.  She said

she had white knuckles throughout the takeoff (luckily the death grip

was on the seat, not my best friend from college's wrist), she had tears

streaming down her cheeks by the time the jet reached altitude, but she

says once the plane is cruising she didn't feel much anxiety at all.

She is quite happy to know she can get through a flight after all.



So . . . get your kids on the internet to marry someone far away.

Motherly survival instinct will take over her fear of flying!



Pete Cowper

RV8 #81139

don.wentz(at)intel.com
Guest

Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 4:41 pm Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

Type of plane makes a big difference.

I took my wife up in a 152 while building the RV-6.

She hated it.

Now that we have the RV, she has flown to Oshkosh with me 4 times, no

problem, and that's from the west coast over the rockies.

It's the difference between a rickety, will it fall out of the sky

feeling, and the solid strong feel of the RV.

(Nothing against the 150, we all flew them at some point, right?)

Dw

RV-6 925hrs  do not archive 


 

For the first few flights in our C-150 I did look over and see some

white knuckles.  What a sport!  She is my best flying buddy now.  For

probably the first 2 years whenever someone would ask her if she liked

flying  she would reply, "It's getting better."

vans-dragon(at)lapdragon.
Guest

Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:48 pm Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

As Richard Scott was saying:

 	  Quote: 	
		   

 

 There used to be an RV around the area named "Divorce One" and I see a 

 "Divorce Two" in the cards if he can't get his wife to change her views.

 

 Some of you guys must have had this problem--how did you deal with it?


	


You know, I think the owner of "Divorce One" had the right idea. :> 



-Kysh

-- 

ST1300 - Areion - > 3k mi  -- STOC #5943

CBR-F4 - Foxy - > 56k mi 

~~ To fly is to truly live

noms1reqd(at)yahoo.com
Guest

Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 10:40 pm Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

My wife doesn't like to fly either.  I had a C-172 for about 6 years and she never saw it - 'cept in pictures.

  There is one feature that an airplane must have before she'll fly in it.  Can you guess what it is?  Two engines? A parachute?

   

  Nope.  A restroom.

  Jeff Bertsch



Richard Scott <rscott(at)cascadeaccess.com> wrote:

  



I was showing a newbie my project when he mentioned that his wife didn't 

like to fly, didn't want him flying and was totally against him building a 

plane, but he was going to do it anyway.



There used to be an RV around the area named "Divorce One" and I see a 

"Divorce Two" in the cards if he can't get his wife to change her views.



Some of you guys must have had this problem--how did you deal with it?



Did you get her to accept your flying & still have peace in the family? If 

so, how did you do it?



Richard Scott

RV-9A

Wings





		

---------------------------------

Mark Phillips in TN

Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Posts: 431
Location: Columbia, TN

Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:40 am Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

In a message dated 3/23/06 12:43:54 AM Central Standard Time, 

noms1reqd(at)yahoo.com writes:



 	  Quote: 	
		   There is one feature that an airplane must have before she'll fly in it.  

 Can you guess what it is?  Two engines? A parachute?

   

  


	


 	  Quote: 	
		  >>>


	


For mine, it's an aisle big enough for a well-stocked beverage cart to haul 

the "get me back on the ground ASAP!" medication...



Mark - do not archive

_________________
From The PossumWorks...

mark(at)macomb.com
Guest

Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 10:49 am Post subject: Spouse afraid to fly

I had a girlfriend who had never been in a small plane before we met. 

For our first date I took her up for a night flight over the city. She 

loved it and told people she felt totally safe in my hands. I even let 

her take the controls for a while.



When we moved to Portland, OR I tried to get her to go to the fly-in 

breakfasts and she finally relented the last month that I lived there. 

She is now a regular volenteer at the breakfasts and thinks that 

airplane people are wonderful. I could have told her that.



I got a call after her first RV ride. "Whoa baby!" are the words I 

remember. Couldn't have said it better myself.

Mark



Do not archive



Pete Cowper wrote:

 	  Quote: 	
		   

 

 Funny this thread should come up.

 

 I was just on the phone yesterday with a college friend's wife in her

 mid-50's who has refused to fly her entire life.  She grew up in a

 isolated coastal town of Eureka, California and has lived her entire

 life there.  Never had any reason to travel by plane so her fear matured

 over the years.

 

 Fast forward to this past January when cherished only child finishes

 college and married a guy from Mississippi two months ago that she met

 through the internet.  Suitor's family owns a multi-generation family

 business of which he is becoming a part . . . never to leave

 Mississippi.

 

 My friend's wife cannot maintain her close relationship with her only

 child and hopefully upcoming grandchildren without flying back and forth

 from California to Mississippi.

 

 She bit the bullet and flew back for the wedding in January.  She said

 she had white knuckles throughout the takeoff (luckily the death grip

 was on the seat, not my best friend from college's wrist), she had tears

 streaming down her cheeks by the time the jet reached altitude, but she

 says once the plane is cruising she didn't feel much anxiety at all.

 She is quite happy to know she can get through a flight after all.

 

 So . . . get your kids on the internet to marry someone far away.

 Motherly survival instinct will take over her fear of flying!

 

 Pete Cowper

 RV8 #81139

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

  

  

 

 

 

 


	




--

Display posts from previous:

	Matronics Email Lists Forum Index -> RV-List	All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Page 1 of 1

Jump to:

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum