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pj.ladd(at)btinternet.com
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 1:24 am Post subject: weight

 

 Hi,

  

 a little off list but dedicated to all of us who  are trying to keep the cockpit weight down.

  

 SATAN'S TEMPTATIONS

  

 In the beginning God covered the earth with  broccoli, cauliflower and 

spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of  all kinds so Man and Woman 

would live long and healthy lives.

  

 Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created  Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. 

And Satan said "You want hot fudge with that?  And Man said "Yes!" And Woman 

said "I'll have one too with chocolate  chips".And lo they gained 10 pounds.

  

 And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman  might keep the figure that 

Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white  flour from the wheat and 

sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman  went from size 12 to size 

14.

  

 So God said "Try my fresh green salad". And Satan  presented Blue Cheese 

dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and  Woman unfastened their 

belts following the repast.

  

  God then said "I have sent you healthy  vegetables and olive oil in which to 

cook them". And Satan brought forth  deep fried coconut king prawns, 

butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken  fried steak, so big it needed its 

own platter. And Man's cholesterol went  through the roof.

  

  Then God brought forth the potato, naturally  low in fat and brimming with 

potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled  off the healthy skin and 

sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried  them in animal fats 

adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more  pounds.

  

  God then brought forth running shoes so that  his Children might lose those 

extra pounds. And Satan came forth with a  cable TV with remote control so 

Man would not have to toil changing the  channels. And Man and Woman laughed 

and cried before the flickering light  and started wearing stretch jogging 

suits.

  

 Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume  fewer calories and still 

satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonalds  and the 99p double 

cheeseburger.Then Satan said "You want fries with that?"  and Man replied 

"Yes, And super-size 'em".

  

  And Satan said "It is good." And Man and  Woman went into cardiac arrest.

  

  God sighed ......... and created quadruple  by-pass surgery.

  

  And then ............ Satan chuckled and  created...

  

  

  

 

 ...the National Health Service!!!

  

 And now...

  

  THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

  

 After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final  word 

on nutrition and health.:

  

  1.Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than  us.

  

  2.Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than  us.

  

  3.Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks  than 

us.

  

  4.Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart  

attacks than us.

  

  5.Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer  fewer 

heart attacks than us.

  

  CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is  apparently 

what kills you.

  

 Cheers

  

 Pat

  

 do not archive

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Ralph Hoover

Joined: 09 Jan 2006
Posts: 206
Location: Central Ohio

Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 1:58 pm Post subject: Re: weight

And, Pat, The more English you speak the sooner you may pass on! NOT!



I tie early death in America to "CARBINATED BEVERAGES"!



Someone disprove that. Otherwise, in keeping with the site rules: "KOLBS RULE".



Someone go fly.



Belching from overcarbination, here in Ohio Ralph!

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