Jsfox(at)adelphia.net
Guest
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 Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 4:30 pm Post subject: Fwd: Hell. |
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Since the list had a discussion around Boyle's Law several weeks ago
I thought I'd share this email from one of my children away at
college on the same subject 
Begin forwarded message:
| Quote: |
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a
University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that
the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law (gas cools
when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student,
however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to
know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell,
it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in
the world
today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
these religions
and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that
all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we
can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at
the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in
order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two
possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that,
"it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take
into account
the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The
corollary of
this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it
is not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only
Heaven,
thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,
last night,
Teresa kept shouting,
"Oh.
My.
God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A
----- End forwarded message -----
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