|
Matronics Email Lists Web Forum Interface to the Matronics Email Lists
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
steveg(at)redmondair.com Guest
|
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:35 am Post subject: New Stock Market Terms |
|
|
Subject: FW: NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
[b]New[/b] Stock Market Terms
[b][b] [/b][/b][b]CEO[/b][b] – Chief [/b]Embezzlement[b] Officer[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] [/b][b]CFO[/b][b] - Corporate Fraud Officer[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] [/b][b]BULL MARKET[/b][b] – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius[/b]
[b] [/b][b]BEAR MARKET[/b][b] – a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b][b] [/b]
[b] [/b][b]VALUE INVESTING[/b][b] – The art of buying low and selling lower.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b]P/E RATIO[/b][b] – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] [/b][b]BROKER[/b][b] – What my [/b]financial planner[b] has made me.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
STANDARD & POOR[b] – Your life in a nutshell.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b]STOCK ANALYST[/b][b] – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b]STOCK SPLIT[/b][b] – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] [/b][b]MARKET CORRECTION[/b][b] – The day after you buy stocks.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] [/b][b]CASH FLOW[/b][b] – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
YAHOO[b] – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] [/b][b]WINDOWS[/b][b] – What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b]INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR[/b][b] – Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.[/b]
[b] [/b]
[b] [/b][b]PROFIT[/b][b] – an [/b]archaic word[b] no longer in use.[/b]
LIQUIDITY - When you look at your investments and wet your pants.
[b]# # # # #[/b][b] [/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines [/b]
[b]one year ago, you will have $49.00 today. [/b]
[b]If you had purchased $1000 of shares in AIG [/b]
[b]one year ago, you will have $33.00 today. [/b]
[b]If you had purchased $1000 of shares in [/b]Lehman Brothers
[b] one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.[/b]
[b]But---- if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer [/b]
[b]one year ago, drank all the beer, [/b]
[b]then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, [/b]
[b]you will have received $214.00.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
Based on the above, the best current investment plan
[b]is to drink heavily & recycle. [/b]
[b] It's called the 401-Keg.[/b]
[i]Mary [/i]
| - The Matronics RV10-List Email Forum - | | Use the List Feature Navigator to browse the many List utilities available such as the Email Subscriptions page, Archive Search & Download, 7-Day Browse, Chat, FAQ, Photoshare, and much more:
http://www.matronics.com/Navigator?RV10-List |
|
Description: |
|
Download |
Filename: |
_AVG_certification_.txt |
Filesize: |
54 Bytes |
Downloaded: |
193 Time(s) |
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
indigoonlatigo(at)msn.com Guest
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
dlm46007(at)cox.net Guest
|
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:18 am Post subject: New Stock Market Terms |
|
|
Heil 0bama. Is that spelled with a number or a letter?
From: owner-rv10-list-server(at)matronics.com [mailto:owner-rv10-list-server(at)matronics.com] On Behalf Of Steve
Sent: Thursday, February 26, 2009 8:31 AM
To: 'Eric'; rv10-list(at)matronics.com; 'BRUCE SNOOK'
Subject: FW: New Stock Market Terms
Subject: FW: NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
[b]New[/b] Stock Market Terms
[b][b] [/b][/b][b]CEO[/b][b] – Chief [/b]Embezzlement[b] Officer[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] [/b][b]CFO[/b][b] - Corporate Fraud Officer[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] [/b][b]BULL MARKET[/b][b] – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius[/b]
[b] [/b][b]BEAR MARKET[/b][b] – a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b][b] [/b]
[b] [/b][b]VALUE INVESTING[/b][b] – The art of buying low and selling lower.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b]P/E RATIO[/b][b] – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] [/b][b]BROKER[/b][b] – What my [/b]financial planner[b] has made me.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
STANDARD & POOR[b] – Your life in a nutshell.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b]STOCK ANALYST[/b][b] – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b]STOCK SPLIT[/b][b] – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] [/b][b]MARKET CORRECTION[/b][b] – The day after you buy stocks.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] [/b][b]CASH FLOW[/b][b] – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
YAHOO[b] – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] [/b][b]WINDOWS[/b][b] – What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b]INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR[/b][b] – Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.[/b]
[b] [/b]
[b] [/b][b]PROFIT[/b][b] – an [/b]archaic word[b] no longer in use.[/b]
LIQUIDITY - When you look at your investments and wet your pants.
[b]# # # # #[/b][b] [/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
[b] If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines [/b]
[b]one year ago, you will have $49.00 today. [/b]
[b]If you had purchased $1000 of shares in AIG [/b]
[b]one year ago, you will have $33.00 today. [/b]
[b]If you had purchased $1000 of shares in [/b]Lehman Brothers
[b] one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.[/b]
[b]But---- if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer [/b]
[b]one year ago, drank all the beer, [/b]
[b]then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, [/b]
[b]you will have received $214.00.[/b]
[b][b] [/b][/b]
Based on the above, the best current investment plan
[b]is to drink heavily & recycle. [/b]
[b] It's called the 401-Keg.[/b]
[i]Mary [/i]
[quote][b]
| - The Matronics RV10-List Email Forum - | | Use the List Feature Navigator to browse the many List utilities available such as the Email Subscriptions page, Archive Search & Download, 7-Day Browse, Chat, FAQ, Photoshare, and much more:
http://www.matronics.com/Navigator?RV10-List |
|
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum You cannot attach files in this forum You can download files in this forum
|
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
|