craig(at)craigandjean.com
Guest
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 Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:10 pm Post subject: Off-topic: flying (and other military) humor |
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"If the enemy is in range, so are
you."
Infantry Journal
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just
bombed."
U.S. Air Force Manual
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons."
- General MacArthur
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"You, you, and you . Panic. The rest of you, come with me."
- U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.
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"Tracers work both
ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance
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"Five second fuses only last three
seconds."
- Infantry Journal
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"Any ship can be a
minesweeper....Once."
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Marine Recruit
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Clean it, if it's Dirty. Oil it, if it Squeaks.
But: Don't Mess with it, if it
Works!
USAF Electronic Technician
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"If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him."
USAF - Ammo Troop
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"Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No
Evil.
For I am at 80,000 Feet and
Climbing."
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"You've never been lost until
you've been lost at Mach 3."
- Paul F. Crickmore ( test pilot
)
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A Navigator's Definition of Latitude & Longitude:
Latitude is Where We are Lost, &
Longitude is How Long We've been Lost There!
USAF Navi-guesser
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter
--
However, it's probably unsafe in any case "
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, You always have
enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
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"What is the similarity between air
traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot fowls up, the pilot
dies; If ATC fowls up, . The pilot
dies."
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"Airspeed, altitude and brains.
Two out of three are needed to successfully complete the flight."
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"Mankind has a perfect record in
aviation. We never left one up there!"
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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
person on the ground Who is incapable of understanding or doing
anything about it."
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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just
barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test
pilot)
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"There is no reason to fly through a
thunderstorm in peacetime."
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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"If something hasn't broken on your
helicopter, it's about to."
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"You know that your landing gear is up and locked When it takes FULL
power to taxi to the terminal."
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having
torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck
arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?"
The pilot's reply: "I don 't know, I just got here myself!"
-- Craig
Do not archive
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