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beauford
Joined: 25 Apr 2007
Posts: 127
Location: Brandon, FL
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 Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:35 am Post subject: Build a Kolb...? |
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Ho, ho, ho.....
SO YOU WANT TO BUILD A KOLB, EH....?
There are a few items to ponder before you commit Kolbery....
-------------------------------------------------------
A really old Kolb pilot is one who can remember when flying was
dangerous as hell and sex was
safe. e.g., George T. Alexander is a really old Kolb pilot.
Both optimists and pessimists have contributed to the society of Kolb
drivers.... The optimist
was Homer, who invented the Kolb airplane -- the pessimist was the guy
who invented the parachute
to bolt onto it.
Real planes, like a Kolb, use only a single stick to fly. This is why
bulldozers &
helicopters -- in that order -- need two.
There are Rules and there are Laws. The Rules are made by bureaucratic
men who think
that they know how to fly your Kolb better than you. Laws, (of
Physics) are made by the Great One.
You can, and sometimes should, suspend the Rules -- but you can never,
ever, get away with
suspending the Laws.
About Rules:
a. The rules are a really good place to hide if you don't have a
better idea and
the talent to execute it.
b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance.
(e.g.,
If you fly your Kolb under a bridge, don't hit the dang bridge).
The ideal Kolb driver is the perfect blend of self discipline and
aggressiveness... We
are still looking for him or her.... Hello....? ... is this thing
on....?
Before each flight, make sure that your bladder is totally empty and
your Kolb's fuel
tanks are totally full.
He who demands everything that his Kolb can give him is a pilot; he
that demands one iota more than that is likely to be a fool.
There are certain Rotax sounds that can only be heard at night, over
water, or trees.
The Kolb's limits are only there in case there is to be another flight
by that
particular aircraft. If, in the course of a flight, things reach the
point where subsequent
flights of that particular Kolb no longer appear likely, there are no
limits and the Kolb
should be operated accordingly.
Flying little Kolb airplanes is a great hobby for men who want to feel
like boys, but not
for those who still are.
Forget all that stuff about lift, gravity, thrust and drag. A Kolb
flies because of money.
If God had truly meant Kolbers to fly, He'd have given us more
money....a lot more money.
John Hauck is once said to have remarked with words to the effect of
"in the Alaska bush,
I'd rather have a two hour bladder and three hours of gas than vice
versa...."
It's not that all Kolb Drivers are good-looking. It's Just that the
really
good-looking people seem more likely to be flying Kolbs....
At the end of the day, you define a good flight by negatives --- You
didn't catch fire, you
didn't crash, you didn't throw up, you didn't get lost, the Rotax
didn't
quit and nothing of significance fell off the Kolb...
Some Random Aviation Thoughts----------
Flying, in general, is a hard way to earn an easy living.
The most plausible scientific theory is that the rings of Saturn are
composed entirely of lost airline baggage
Airlines have really become gender-neutral... now a flight attendant
can get a pilot
pregnant.
To become a jet pilot, one must be an egomaniac with low self esteem.
The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation
profession.
Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot
is
over are people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the
intensity of their feelings that the pilot's day is over I know of no
expert
who has volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.
If helicopters are so dang safe, how come there are no vintage/classic
helicopter fly-ins?
"If the Wright brothers were alive today Wilbur would have to fire
Orville
to reduce costs." --President of DELTA Airlines.
As a pilot, you should always remember that only two bad things can
happen to you, but
one of them eventually will:
a. One day you will walk out to the airplane knowing that it is your
last flight.
b. One day you will walk out to the airplane not knowing that it is
your last flight.
I've flown in both pilot seats; can someone tell me why the other one
is
always occupied by an idiot?
Son, you're going to have to make up your mind about growing up and
becoming a pilot. You can't do both.
There are only three things a copilot should ever say to a captain:
1. Nice landing, Sir.
2. I'll buy the first round.
3. I'll take the ugly one!
There are only three things a wingman should ever say to his flight
lead:
1. Two is up.
2. Lead, you are on fire.
3. I'll buy the first round.
..and last but not least.... The New FAA Motto: "We're not happy,
till you're not happy."
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John Hauck
Joined: 09 Jan 2006
Posts: 4639
Location: Titus, Alabama (hauck's holler)
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| Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:58 am Post subject: Build a Kolb...? |
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Beauford/Gang:
Thanks for the Sunday morning chuckle!
Merry Xmas and Happy New Year to you and all Kolbers.
A moment of silence for our Kolb friends that have departed way to soon for that little grass strip in the sky. I miss them.
john h - Wet, cold, and soggy at hauck's holler, alabama.
mkIII
| Quote: |
Ho, ho, ho.....
SO YOU WANT TO BUILD A KOLB, EH....?
There are a few items to ponder before you commit Kolbery....
-------------------------------------------------------
[img]http://geo.yahoo.com/serv?s=97359714/grpId=9025480/grpspId=1705207037/msgId=523/stime=1260373323/nc1=5898812/nc2=5922736/nc3=5170420[/img]
Merry Christmas, Kolbers...!
beauford
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[quote][b]
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_________________
John Hauck
MKIII/912ULS
hauck's holler
Titus, Alabama |
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Richard Pike
Joined: 09 Jan 2006
Posts: 1670
Location: Blountville, Tennessee
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| Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 11:48 am Post subject: Re: Build a Kolb...? |
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Just to add a bit more whimsy to Beauford's list...
Richard Pike
MKIII N420P (420ldPoops)
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| I guess the news muffin was right, I found Twin Beech Nuts. |
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| The real reason for the New FAA Motto: "We're not happy, till you're not happy." |
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